Keep on going .

" Keep trying , you can do it ! " How many times have I heard this in my life ? People keep trying to motivate me to do better, to not give up. I'm trying.. but how can you tell me what I can and can't do? You don't know the capacity and my ability to accomplish something. Parents keep 'motivating' their children to keep pushing forward, but all it is is just pushing. Motivation should be positive. It shouldn't be forcing your child to do something that they don't want to do, to keep telling them that what they want to do isn't right.
I have the lowest intrinsic motivation ever. I don't feel like doing anything or to be motivated to do something unless there's a reward. I don't feel a need to pursue any goals because frankly, I have none. I don't really care if I go to college or not, or even try to maintain A's in school. What's the point? Yeah, I want a good future. But I'm just too stressed about this ridiculous standards to get into college that I don't even care.
Everything I do now isn't for me. It's for God. I guess it's extrinsic motivation, but because of Him I want to become a better person, to show the world the love that He has for all of us. He is my need. He is what drives me each day to keep on living & to show compassion to everyone. & even though it's tough & very frustrating most of the time, I know I have to keep on going. He motivates me to keep striving for the better, to live each day better than the last.  He's there for me, without fail.
Sorry if this is more religious than reflective, but God is my main motivation. & I think that's all I need.