I know I am a very angry child. I can tell. I have anger issues & mood swings 24/7. & I know I display hostile aggression; ask anyone.
With my anger, I can intimidate people into apologizing. With my violence, I can make people afraid of me.
With my hostile aggression, I pushed away my now ex-boyfriend.
Him & I fought constantly, on & off. Mainly about stupid things , but we always butted heads because we both get angry easily . I usually just yelled at him over the phone, & him living in Hawaii doesn't make our fights any easier. When I'm angry, I get really angry. & I need to learn how to control it because when I do blow up, I push everyone away & in his case, he got super mad. I was crying on the phone & he was peeing & I just really got mad/sad because it's like he didn't even care about comforting me & cared more about relieving himself. So I hung up. Then he got super pissed and wrote a Tumblr post saying that I was selfish and I always thought I was right when I wasn't. That to me was the last straw. It's like I couldn't even have my own feelings without being told whether or not they were right or wrong.
Relationships are just so difficult .
I cried the whole day today, at Chinese school & volunteer. He just texted me saying that he missed me. I haven't replied yet because I don't know what to say. I wonder if the 10 minute wait for my reply is hard for him. I want to say I miss him back, but I'm not sure if I should.
Love is really blind .It makes you forgive people of all the wrong things that they've done no matter how bad they were.
I just really need a hug , someone to talk to.
But because I'm not allowed to go out, I can't.
I can't even have a boyfriend so I can't talk to my parents about this.
Life is just so difficult.
Hi Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteI really think going back to therapy would help. Especially if you feel like you can't talk to your parents, this way you'd have an outlet.
And I can see how it would be so hard to have a long-distance relationship. Usually couples hug after a fight, but you don't have that luxury. Something to think about for future relationships...
Please talk to your parents about therapy! It really could help relieve a lot of pressure.