Oh my. It has been forever since I've written a blog entry. Lately, life has been tremendously stressful, due to my lack of sleep with the boyfriend and what not & stress due to the many tests I have coming up. Teachers tend to cram all the projects and tests at once...which does not help at all. I have 3 SAT 2's next Saturday, then the ACT again the following Saturday. Oh, & prom is tomorrow!(: I'm very excited about that.
I noticed my moods been changing lately: crying more, cranky, irritated easily. Not very good for a girl like me. The meditation exercises in class have been helping a lot. It's really hard to completely clear my mind though. My grandpa can do it because he's meditated a lot. I walked in on him once, standing up and meditating. I asked my dad what he was doing and my dad said that he completely clears his mind and stays like that for a few hours and then he becomes more happier and healthier. Strange how mentality influences the physical part. During the exercises today, I couldn't NOT think. I'm always thinking; my mind's a never ending cycle of "what if's" and "how come".
*Oh..no. Okay. I am very freaked out even though this is completely random but there is a HUGE daddy long leg spider next to me & I'm really scared to move because I don't want it to move & I have a very big phobia of bugs so I think I'm gonna cry T______________________________T Help.
Anyway...the exercise today about writing for 15 minutes about our thoughts really helped. I honestly thought that only 5 minutes had passed by. I tend to bottle things up..which is weird because I used to just be very open about my emotions. I guess I've noticed that people don't really care about my problems or that my view point doesn't agree with theirs so they look annoyed and tell me I'm wrong. So I just shove it away into a huge pit that I have of secrets and hate. & writing actually helped release a lot of the stress I had from this huge pit. I got to empty out everything..well all that I could within the amount of time given. & I threw my parents & my boyfriend into the ocean..& I felt really bad so I took them back & I just sat there not knowing what to do. Sigh. I'm very distressed...I just want to go to a far away place & just cry..
Anyway. Yeah. Hopefully things turn out better(:
I'm sorry to hear that you don't have too many people who will accept your thoughts. How frustrating...that would also make me just keep my thoughts to myself. Well, hopefully you can start journaling to help you clear your mind.
ReplyDeleteHave fun at prom!
Tiffany, why do you feel this way? I love you. I'm sorry if I ever come off as critical, I'm coming to learn that love comes before understanding, and a lot of the times it's just hard to understand you, but please don't lock up your feelings. I'm here for you. Smile.
ReplyDelete