SYBIL.

SYBIL IS THE CRAZIEST MOVIE EVER .
I've seen it before. Or..I think I have. When you mentioned the name, I was like HEY I'VE SEEN THAT BEFORE but maybe it's only because I've heard it before. I'm not very sure T_T. Horrible long term memory. But anyway.
I was mostly freaked about the movie. I had heard before that it's really crazy. But I didn't know that  it was this extreme! I feel so bad for the real Sybil :/ Her life must have been so difficult. I remember this one episode on the TV show "Lie to Me" where this girl also had DID & she had dreams that she murdered someone when the murder was actually real & she got really scared & thought she was psychic. She was sent to Dr. Lightman who realized that she had multiple personalities. One of them was a prostitute, and this other one she was a guy. & the guy part was actually her defensive side that couldn't talk but he would just protect the other identities & at the end they realized that she was the one that actually killed someone in her other identity. Crazy stuff :O
I would be so scared if I had DID :/ The mom of Sybil is INSANE. First off, why would the husband marry this woman? I mean, I find it really hard to find that he wouldn't notice that she's a little bit weird. Second off, how could he have sex with her? O_O She's not very attractive. Anyway, it's sad how having a neurological disorder can set off generations and generations of other disorders. I'm guessing Sybil's grandma on her mother's side also had some kind of problem that could have triggered this kind of abuse.
I don't have multiple personalities, but I just act differently around different people. Sometimes I regress, but not to the point where I'm a complete baby. I tend to just grab a stuffed animal and just sit & stay silent & cry when I'm sad. I don't know if that's weird, but that's just how I cope. & I remember this one time I was really pissed off at night at my sister so I got up, stood next to her bed, & stared at her & told her I was going to kill her in her sleep. I don't know..sometimes I scare myself. But I mean, I got over that phase & I guess I'm a little better now at dealing with my emotions. Hopefully I learn how to not only stop hurting everyone but even myself.

What's wrong with you?

This week we discussed mainly psychological disorders, but how many times have we self-diagnosed ourselves, thinking that we actually had something we didn't?
Many people, including myself, calls ourselves depressed or bipolar. But how much of that is true? Most likely.. none. We over exaggerate. I didn't know depression can only be called depression if it's like a 2 week period of being super sad. My dad was actually depressed, but he didn't know that he was called 'depressed'. He just had trouble concentrating and being active in tasks & was tired all the time. He went to the doctor and the doctor diagnosed him with depression. I mean, I've been really sad. Maybe at most for a month or 2, but I haven't been so sad that I can't function. Stupid breakups ruin my mood. I used to think I was bipolar until I learned that bipolar disorder had a manic stage. That kind of freaked me out, and I realized maybe I should stop diagnosing myself with silly things.
We also learned about autism and schizophrenia, and I think some of the kids & elderly that I work with have these. I volunteer for the City of Cerritos and there's this event called Tiny Tots where I pretty much babysit little kids. I see the smart kids, the quiet ones, the creative ones, and the...slow ones. I know this one kid doesn't have autism or anything, but he's just slow at learning. However, there are these 2 kids that I believe have issues. They don't speak, and they're around 4 or 5 years old. Whenever I call their names, they don't respond, even if I yell it. They can never sit down; they always have to get up. They can't write their names; they can't participate because they're in their own little world. & to me, it's really sad, and I really hope that they're just late bloomers. & at Artesia Christian homes,  there's a lot of elderly that have Alzheimer's and dementia. It's really hard to be patient with them because it's like they're 80 year old children, but I just got to stick it through.
Sometimes people ask, what's wrong with you? & all you can say is nothing, because that's how some people are born. Some are born different. Some are born weird. What matters is that people need to understand that some aren't as fortunate as others to be 'normal'.

Who Am I ?

“Millions of people never analyze themselves. Mentally they are mechanical products of the factory of their environment, preoccupied with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, working and sleeping, and going here and there to be entertained. They don’t know what or why they are seeking, nor why they never realize complete happiness and lasting satisfaction. By evading self-analysis, people go on being robots, conditioned by their environment. True self-analysis is the greatest art of progress.” --Paramahansa Yogananda

 After the presentation from the speaker on Friday, it really got me thinking about who I really am. I foten think about my flaws, my weaknesses, my strengths: everything that makes me who I really am. But who am I really? Am I someone that has conformed to the standards to society, or have I become the person who I want to be ? I forgot what her name was, but I remember her talking about how she lived 60 years of her life in a man's body, but that wasn't what she wanted. She even tried to prove that she was a man by fighting in the Vietnam war, to prove herself that she could 'cure' herself of her predicament.
In the book "Why Men Don't Listen & Why Women Can't Read Maps", there's a section that says that homosexuality & being transsexual is a result of genetics. It talks about how when you are being formed as an embryo, there are certain hormones that make your body a male/female, and hormones that make your brain think you're feminine/masculine. If you don't receive the correct amount of dosage that matches your body, then you can become more feminine if you're born with a male body and that can result for you to become gay because you're attracted to males. So if this theory is correct, then homosexuals shouldn't blame themselves for who they are. They're born that way, just like Lady Gaga said.
I don't encourage people to be gay, but if they are then I'm okay with them. They are normal people, just a little bit different sexually.
I remember the speaker saying that after the surgery, she was completely happy with who she was. & I'm happy for her that she is because now she doesn't have to live with any regrets. She found who she really was, & she lived it out, not caring about what others had to say for those that matter don't mind & those that mind don't matter. & that's the beauty of it all.

REJEEECTED.

There's a rejection number if you ever need it (; Anyway.
I've been rejected before, but it didn't hurt that bad. I've rejected plenty before. I remember this one guy Vince tried to get at me. I knew him for what...one day & in history he texted me saying ' what if i said i was feelin you ? '. I was so..shocked. I didn't even know him and he said he was interested in me? I never even met him before in my life, in person, or even talked on the phone with me. I thought that was pretty desperate, trying to act like a player when he doesn't have any game. So I said I wasn't interested in Christy's ex's because he was one of her ex boyfriends and he became a jerk towards me after that. He said he wasn't tripping, but if you say that, that obviously means you are. -_- stupid boy.
OH. I bought this book called "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps" & it's pretty much how men and women are different, and that in order to have a good relationship you need to understand that it isn't the other person's fault that girl's suck at driving or why men can't understand why you're not supposed to call girl's fat. So in the book, it said that women have a hard time parking because they have bad perception and trouble measuring distance because our female ancestors had to forage and look for food, which was close up. They didn't need to look at how far they needed to through a spear to kill, so that's why men have better driving skills than women. & it also said that women are good lie detectors because women have always been used socially and for families, so it was always their job to see when something is wrong. Women are better at detecting different tone of voices and can hear a baby crying in the night when they're sound asleep because it's in their brain. Guys, however, don't wake up to the cry of a baby but will wake up to a snap of a branch outside because it triggers their defense part of the brain. & guys have tunnel vision, which is why it's so hard for them to find stuff in the fridge when it's right there. Women have wider peripherals, so that's why women can check out guys without being obvious.
SO YEAH. I'm on page 45 I think. :)
Tiffany Liu says "HI MRS.HUNTER!" because I'm at her house to help her with her campaign(:

This was in the book :)))))))))